


Moving On

by AnnieNadir



Category: Schooled (TV 2019)
Genre: 90's Music, Emotional Growth, F/M, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:46:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22568809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnieNadir/pseuds/AnnieNadir
Summary: Lainey and CB learn to stop living in the past
Relationships: Lainey Lewis/Charlie "C.B." Brown, lainey/cb
Comments: 6
Kudos: 7





	1. Carry the Zero

_I'm not knocking your want to carry that home_  
_Took it with you when you moved and got it broke_  
_Found the pieces, we counted them all alone_  
_Didn't add up, forgot to carry a zero_

_I can't be your apologist very long_  
_I'm surprised that you'd want to carry that on_  
_Count your blemishes, you can't, they're all gone_  
_I can't see your response putting them back on_

_Like they're waiting for your guard to fall_  
_So they can see it all and you're so_  
_Occupied with what other persons are_  
_Occupied with, and vice versa_

_And you've become what you thought was dumb_  
_A fraction of the sum_  
_Yeah, you've become, yeah, you have become_  
_A fraction of the sum, the middle and the front_

(Carry the Zero, Built to Spill)

It was February 19th, 1990-something and Lainey Lewis couldn’t help but be proud of how far she’d come at William Penn. She’d become a better teacher than she could have imagined. A better person than she could have imagined. There was nothing more fulfilling than molding the minds of her students. Turns out there was more to life than being a cool rockstar–who knew?

  
And with her newly gained emotional maturity, it didn’t take her long to zone in on the next student who needed a helping hand.

  
She finished leading her general music class in a rendition of Counting Crow’s “Mr. Jones” that could only be described as cacophonous. Lainey was satisfied with their efforts nonetheless. Not everyone could be musically inclined, but these kids were giving it their best, or at least most of them were.

  
“Okay, you’re dismissed,” Lainey addressed the class as the bell rang, “except Hailey. I need to see you after class.”

  
Hailey was popular, blonde, and beautiful, much like Lainey at her age. Unfortunately, also like Lainey at her age, Hailey was a bit of a problem student.

  
“I’ve noticed you’ve stopped singing in class.”

  
“And?” She folded her arms, indifferent.

  
“You’re one of our best voices. In fact, I could really use you in show choir.” Lainey hoped the advanced class/extracurricular would set her on the right track, and the girl had a great voice besides.

  
“Show choir is lame. And that’ll look like I’m trying too hard.”

  
“Is that why you’re also failing Math and English?” Lainey sighed and rubbed her temples. “Listen, I know what you’re thinking. I used to be you. But I can guarantee that when you’re older you’ll care less about looking cool and more about the fact that you screwed yourself out of an education. Be yourself; appearances are overrated.”

  
“Then why are you still so preoccupied with yours?”

  
The question hit Lainey harder than she’d expected. She wasn’t above keeping up appearances. It was only a few weeks ago she’d nearly had a meltdown over the school’s dress code. Sure, a lot of that was about the right to self expression, but it was also definitely about looking cool… About not looking like a teacher. Lainey was still trying to distance herself from her job, and why?

  
“You need to get to your next class, but we’re not done with this discussion.”

  
Lainey sat back at her desk to contemplate.

  
She knew why being cool meant so much to her. She’d worked hard to get there. All of the ridicule in middle school definitely made her want nothing to do with nerdiness. If she was being honest, Lainey had been projecting a less than honest self-image for far longer than that. The She-Ra incident surely didn’t help.

  
But what was this cool girl persona still doing for her? It was still distancing her from her feelings. And did still get her recognition. Boosted her self-esteem in one respect. To an extent it was also dishonest. Lainey never truly invested herself in anything besides music. She hid her true self behind layers of nonchalance and pop culture.

  
Barry ebbed at the façade. He was a complete and utter goofball and she loved him anyway. With Barry she could cut loose and have fun with out worrying what other people thought. God, she loved him for that. But there was a difference between adopting a “who care what other people think I like this” attitude and being unapologetically herself.

  
It appeared her students weren’t the only ones with teen angst to sort through.

* * *

While Lainey struggled to let go of the past, CB struggled to let go of her.

  
He slumped at his desk. He never really thought he’d get to be with Lainey. Not since her high school sweetheart had magically popped back into her life to sweep her off her feet. And he was a doctor! A flipping doctor. Still, the outright rejection hurt more than he ever could have expected. Lainey loved Barry. Not him. The thought gnawed at his heart.

  
“We’re going to watch a movie,” he announced to his fifth period. “Felicia, please start the VCR and hit the lights.”

  
“But this is the third one this week!”

  
“You said we were going to-”

  
“You’re no fun anymore!”

  
His students protested in a way that would’ve warmed his heart, had it not been completely shattered the week prior.

  
“We’re watching a movie,” he repeated. Felicia had no problem coasting and complied with his instructions without hesitation. If CB were himself he would have felt bad about encouraging this behavior.

  
With the light out and projector on, CB gave up on the pretense of working entirely and rested his head on his desk. It was easier to feel dead inside in the dark. With children staring at a screen instead of him. He sure didn’t need his humiliation to be any more public. If that was even possible. He’s pretty sure the entire school saw it.

  
The lights clicked on violently. CB shrank back behind his arms, not opening his eyes.

  
“Nope, were done with this.” Wilma Howell barged into his classroom and turned off the television set.

  
“Did Glasscott send you?” CB didn’t bother to move.

  
“No, I’m concerned about you as a colleague,” CB looked up at her as her expression softened. “and as a friend. Now get up and teach this class! Your students deserve more from you. You deserve more from yourself.”

  
CB groaned.

  
“What about your class?”

  
“I’ve got a free period.”

  
“Fine…” CB relented. “You’re right.”

  
He sighed and stood up to teach. He owed his students that much. They’re not the ones who stomped on his heart.


	2. How's it Going to Be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, everyone, for reading this. It's gotten much more of a response than I was expecting. I hope you enjoy the second part.

_I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore_   
_Before you take a swing_   
_I wonder what are we fighting for_   
_When I say out loud_   
_I want to get out of this_   
_I wonder is there anything_   
_I'm going to miss_   
_I wonder how it's going to be_   
_When you don't know me_   
_How's it going to be_   
_When you're sure I'm not there_   
_How's it going to be_   
_When there's no one there to talk to_   
_Between you and me_   
_Cause I don't care_

(How's it Going to Be, Third Eye Blind)

The sound of the bell was music to CB’s ears. His students began filing out of his classroom, and he was free to slink back to his desk. He had all of lunch to wallow in his self pity, and he fully intended to make use of that time.

“What the hell are you doing?” Wilma’s voice was losing patience.

“You’re still here?”

“You’re still surprised about that?”

“Touché”

“Come on, we’re going to lunch,” Wilma grabbed his arm and pulled him up. “I’m going to need backup on this..” She added under her breath.

When they got to the teacher’s lounge Wilma was relieved to see Lainey wasn’t there, and, almost equally importantly, Rick Mellor was.

Wilma practically dragged CB into a chair across from Mellor and Nurse Julie. He let his body go limp in the chair.

“He needs a coach,” Wilma explained.

Mellor immediately focused in on CB, leaning across the table slightly. He would take any opportunity to imbue his coach-ly wisdom.

“What’s this about?” he asked, whatever conversation he and Julie had been having seemingly forgotten.

“Lainey Lewis,” is all CB could manage.

“Lainey Lewis? I thought we were over this at Christmas. Give up. Goldberg is the best.” Coach Mellor’s strong booming voiced echoed across the lounge.

“Sensitively handled,” Julie whispered to him.

“I know, I know,” CB sighed heavily. “Lainey would never leave Barry. But moving on is hard. I can’t just turn off my feelings.”

“A firm decision to move on is the first step,” Mellor affirmed. “You’re only hurting yourself by going after Lewis. How many times have you broken your own heart over this?”

CB gave it some thought. It did feel like all he was getting out of his love for her was pain. Maybe it was time for them to be just friends, for real this time.

“Maybe give yourself some space from Lainey,” Julie suggested.

“Kind of hard when she’s my best friend and I’m crashing at her place.”

“It doesn’t mean you have to completely cut her out. You just have to set boundaries,” Wilma explained. “You could start by coming out with us tonight.”

“What are you doing?” CB perked up a little.

“We’re going dancing!” Julie answered excitedly.

“So I’d need a partner... which I don’t have...” CB deflated once again.

“It’s ska. Upbeat enough you don’t need one,” Wilma clarified. “So, it’s settled. Meet us here,” she scrawled the address of the club on a post-it note. “at six.”

Johnny Atkins walked over from the counter he was cleaning and gave a smirk.

“Atkins in,” he declared.

“You weren’t invited,” Mellor reminded him.

“You don’t even have the address,” Wilma added.

“I have my ways.” And with that Johnny Atkins exited the teachers lounge, leaving his janitor’s cart behind.

“Mmm”

Everyone turned to look at Wilma. Their disgust was evident, faces contorted with distain. Really? Johnny Atkins?

“I’m not the one with the problem here.” Wilma deflected.

“You’re not the _only_ one with a problem here.” CB corrected, smirking for the first time today.

* * *

The bell chimed at the end of Lainey’s sixth period class.

“Dismissed. Great work today, guys!” She saw her class out. “Hailey, I need to see you after class again.”

She motioned for the popular girl to sit in the seat opposite her desk.

“You were right. I do still worry too much about what others think of me,” she began.

“So I can go?” Hailey stood to collect her things.

“Not so fast.” Lainey motioned for her to sit. “I do care about what others think about me, but I’m working on it. And I’ve had help. Recently, a pretty great teacher believed in me in a way no one else ever has.”

Lainey paused remembering CB’s remedial class. She’d never thought of herself as smart. No one had, not Erika, not Barry, not her father, and certainly not her teachers when she’d attended William Penn. She couldn’t blame them entirely. She had worked so hard to be seen as a cool burnout, someone above academics. She’d built that reputation for herself. But CB saw straight through it. He saw in Lainey what she couldn’t see in herself. Lainey couldn’t help but smile a little at the memory.

“He taught me to believe in myself. I have potential, and so do you.” Lainey leaned in earnestly. “And if you’re willing, I’d like to help you achieve yours.”

Lainey passed Hailey a pamphlet for the Quaker’s dozen.

“Aren’t I going to be late for class?” Hailey asked, clearly still hesitant about the prospect of joining choir.

“Park it. I’ll write you a pass,” Lainey commanded. “I know it’s a lot of pressure joining the top choir, but you would thrive there, trust me. I’ve learned that even though expectations can feel overwhelming, it’s better to go for it than to stick to something safe and familiar.”

She thought of her own life. She definitely still had some growing to do, but, damn it, Lainey was headed in the right direction. Her life was finally not about how she wanted to be perceived, but about who she was, who she wanted to be. 80′s Lainey was out; 90′s Lainey was in. Nothing could keep her anchored to the past any longer.

“We’re in this together. It’s time to let go of the past.”

Lainey scrawled out a late pass and handed it to Hailey, offering a fist bump along with it. Hailey left the fist bump, but Lainey noticed she took the choir pamphlet. Lainey chalked it up to a victory. She leaned back in her chair to savor it. However, she only got a moment of satisfaction before the culmination of her reflections hit her.

_“Oh, my god. I have to break up with Barry.”_

* * *

Lainey found CB in the crowded halls following the seventh period bell. Students milled about in a hurry to get home.

“Hey, man. How’re things going?” She greeted him.

“For the first time in a while, I think things are actually fine.” CB gave her a shaky smile.

“Glad to hear it.” Lainey returned the smile, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Are you going to be around for dinner tonight? ‘Cause I’m trying to sort through some stuff and it’s kind of hea-”

“Oh,” CB interrupted. “I’ve actually got plans with Wilma, Mellor, and Julie...and Johnny Atkins tonight.”

“Oh.” Lainey felt her throat constrict. She’d really needed some support. His support. Not that she was entitled to it or anything but.... Damn it, she really hoped he couldn’t see the pain in her eyes. CB had always been way to good at reading her. But if he noticed, he gave no indication. “Okay, have fun.”

She thought her words came out a bit strangled. CB made no comment on it.

“I will,” he smiled genuinely at her, and began to walk away.

“Oh, and Lainey?”

He turned back to her.

“Yeah?” She looked up at him hopefully.

“I found an apartment listing. It looks really promising.”

And, with that, he left her alone in a hallway full of people.

_Want to get myself back in again_   
_The soft dive of oblivion_   
_I want to taste the salt of your skin_   
_The soft dive of oblivion oblivion_   
_How's it going to be_   
_When you don't know me anymore_   
_How's it going to be, How's it going to be_   
_How's it going to be_


End file.
